Real Leaders

This is How You Get Past Hearing the Word “No”

We live in times where you can reach and do anything. New technologies have given us tremendous power at our fingertips, to create networks that can transform our world. However, these open platforms can bring about new challenges.

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going,” goes the famous phrase, that tends to stir the spirits of even the faintest of hearts.

Therefore, if you genuinely want your dreams to become “real” in the physical sense, you must learn to build resilience on the inside, to allow prosperity to flow on the outside.

The definition of resilience is the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties — to have a level of toughness. But it also means to have the ability to spring back into shape — to have a degree of elasticity. Toughness and flexibility are both necessary characteristics when fighting to transform your dreams into tangible realities.

Here are two ways to build your toughness and elasticity:

1. Learn how to deal with the “No’s” of business.

Some years ago, I took the step of becoming a Mary Kay beauty consultant. Although I realized this wasn’t in alignment with my purpose, I learned a great deal from my mentor at the time. What she told me, spun my whole way of thinking around, especially about the relationship between a deal and emotions.

She said, “You need to play a mental game with yourself to see how many “no’s” you can get within the timeframe of your sales calls. That way, the “yes’s” don’t matter as much.”

I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. She was freeing my mind from the stigma of hearing the word “no.” When it comes to business, it’s not a word that targets you personally, should dent your ego or make you feel like you’re not good enough. It’s just a simple way for your potential lead to say they’re not ready to commit yet. You can always guide them towards clarity from any confusion, but it’s not about you.

I know many people, including myself, who have shut down or quit after a few “no’s,” then wondered why their vision failed. Transform the meaning of “no” into an opportunity to pivot or a need for clarity. Preparing mentally to hearing the no’s, in conjunction with the courage to keep moving forward, is the best way to scale your toughness.

2. Learn how to stretch and bend with the times, but without comprising your values or visions.

Often, your plans aren’t going to go as expected. Every transformation is a journey and you cannot expect change by taking the same route you’ve always traveled. It will get uncomfortable, pushing you into uncomfortable territory — but these are the branches, sticks, and thorns of the journey. Grab a few Band-Aids and keep pushing.

While on this journey, use your values as a foundation for decision making and keep it aligned with your inner truth. The values and promises you’ve dedicated yourself to — in the service of others — are the real root of prosperity. Remember, elastic stretches and bends in all sorts of ways, but always bounces back to its original state.

To sustain toughness and elasticity, learn how to take immediate action when the opportunity presents itself.

As a business tech strategist and advocate for women in business and technology, I’ve been through ups and downs in my business and career. I’ve learned to acquire these two characteristics —toughness and elasticity. There is no such thing as job security anymore, so you may need to reshape your thinking to realize that you may need 2 or 3 additional sources of income.

I’m often asked: “How do I sustain things while juggling the burden of my daily life?” The answer? Mastering toughness and elasticity in everyday life.

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