I’ve coached hundreds of leaders across the globe — and there’s one practice that makes a huge difference in almost everyone’s performance.

When we think of productivity in business, we often think of people pushing themselves to past their limits — pulling all-nighters at work, eating lunch while responding to emails, zooming from one project or appointment to the next. But in my experience, this myth of productivity serves neither the employee nor the organization in the long term.

As CEO of TLEX Institute which teaches leaders tools for greater self mastery, social connection, and purpose, I’ve coached hundreds of leaders across the globe across a variety of sectors. I have found that leaders who create gaps in their busy schedules to restore and replenish are ultimately more effective and successful in the long run.

There’s one restorative practice in particular that makes a meaningful difference in leaders’ performance: conscious breathing.

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Conscious breathing is a powerful mechanism to  stay calm and focused throughout the day, while anchoring our mind in the present moment. Our breath is the only part of the autonomic nervous system that we can control. It’s one of the few things we can easily access to shift the way that we’re thinking or feeling and calm and restore ourselves. In fact, research shows conscious breathing has a deep restorative impact on our physiology, and it is one of the simplest ways to reset and can have many other benefits. Even one deep, conscious breath can serve as the mini-meditation that we need to slow down and reduce tension. Pausing to take a few deep breaths can allow us to let go and restore, and enter the next activity or interaction with fresh eyes, energy, and enthusiasm.

Beyond using breath in moments throughout the day, the daily practice of formal breathing and meditation techniques allows us to reset and restore so that tension and stress doesn’t accumulate. Research suggests that the rhythmic breathing practice Sudharshan Kriya, for example, reduces anxiety, depression, and increases optimism on a physiological level. By practicing letting go every day, and using the rhythms of our breath, we can learn to observe and manage our thoughts and emotions. These skills translate when our eyes are open, allowing us to engage with the world and other people with clarity, centeredness and intentionality.

While Sudharshan Kriya is an advanced technique, there many effective beginner breaths like alternate nostril breathing.  Explained below, alternate nostril breathing is a simple, effective technique for both calming and focusing your mind, and regulating your emotions.  

One client that I worked with for years, Peter Cooper, founded Cooper Investors in 2001 – now a $10 billion wealth-management firm. For Cooper, learning self-care techniques such as meditation and conscious breathing have helped him navigate the pressures of money management by lowering his stress and anxiety to increase his ability to focus on what really matters.

When several analysts left his firm in short succession, for example, Cooper was able to deal with this potentially destabilizing occurrence calmly, confidently, and with a clear intention to turn a potentially negative situation into a positive opportunity.

“Before my daily morning breathing practice of Sudarshan Kriya ” Cooper said, “I would have responded with blame, anger, and negativity. With my state of mind turned to learning and growing from challenges with minimum stress, we were able to attract very talented replacement analysts.”

Successful leaders like Cooper know that it’s essential to cultivate mindsets that help us thrive in that space of uncertainty and unrelenting pressure. This means building our physiologies so that we can respond – rather than react – when the stakes are highest.

In our increasingly complex environment, leaders must embrace the idea that pushing ever harder may be a necessity sometimes, but the more restored, resilient and healthy we are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, the more we can draw on that when the pressure kicks in – to be as productive as possible for years to come.

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It never ceases to surprise me: the world is full of dreamers willing to pay anything to those who promise they can make our dreams come true. A great example of this is the best-selling book The Secret.

The book promises that “Everything is possible, nothing is impossible. There are no limits. Whatever you can dream of can be yours, when you use The Secret.” and “Ask. Believe. Receive.” Well, sorry to break it to you folks, this is not the way the secret works! Rather, it’s the other way around. And getting it right is the difference between being a dreamer and a leader.

The main idea behind the book is the law of attraction. We attract people and events in our lives that respond to what we carry inside ourselves. There’s no mystery here. This pearl of wisdom is included in most spiritual lines of thought, and depicted on ancient cave walls, traditional pots and paintings the world over. The inference that we can control or choose what we attract, however, has turned out to be a very profitable distortion of the original law.

I wonder if money and fame were what the author was unconsciously trying to attract when she “Asked. Believed. Received.” Or more likely, whether the excessive attention that comes with money and fame was the secret her heart truly desired. The genuine secret is that our life experience is a mirror of what we don’t want to know about ourselves. Life does not give us what we choose or ask for. Many of us would be incredibly good-looking millionaires if asking and believing were enough.

Nope, life gives us what we need in order to help us face hard facts about ourselves. About our family history, our unconscious feelings and our hidden desires. Life’s learning is not in getting what we want. It’s in getting precisely what we don’t want. Get it? If we go back to Freud’s terminology, the secret would be the gap between the “super-ego” and the “id”. The super-ego is the perfect image we formulate about ourselves. It’s the best possible version of ourselves we try to fulfill.

The id, on the contrary, is the hidden, wild animal within us. It’s the part of us we try to control and discipline into civilized behavior. It’s the sum of our unexpressed frustrations, trapped desires and unspeakable whims. Freud concluded that our behavior, or as he called it, our “ego”, was the result of our lifelong battle between these two extremes. Repression was the name of the game. Pleasure was guilty. And very, very secret! Back to the bestseller fantasies of our internet era.

Byrne’s book promises we can magically materialize our super-ego’s intolerant requirements if we try very, very hard to believe them…. if we quash all our inner fears of impossibility. Reality, however, guarantees just as many problems, sabotages and traps to help us acknowledge and express the deeper truth of our own panic in order to release it. I frequently laugh at how it took me two full years of failure in a saddle to recognize and release my own fear of riding (and anything else that moved before I gave an instruction!). The secret, in fact, is on us: all we need to experience effortless abundance is to fall in love with the wild emotions and impulses within us. Without judgment or intolerant ideals. Rather than repress and deny what we feel deep inside, reality pushes us to let it all out for once and for all. That is the end of subjugation, control and wishful perfection.

Because utopian dreams become irrelevant when you’ve come to embrace the person you really are. Repression and strict discipline are no longer needed when you let go of your own cruel judge. In leadership terms, the secret is the gap between the idealized fantasies of success, the super-performance we try to live up to every day and the deep, hurtful realities about our jobs we try to leave behind. Unsuccessfully. As long as we strive for the pretty future in order to hide from the ugly present, the law of attraction keeps us trapped in endless repetition. We find ourselves reliving the same patterns over and over and over: same conflicts with the boss, similar predicaments around finance, familiar issues in our teams.

Let’s look at Steve, an international activist, for example. He has founded many projects and NGOs to fight against the ugliness of our world: plastic pollution, animal cruelty, political corruption and other images that mirror humanity’s lower imperfections. Steve describes the sublime, super-ego definition of what he does: He passionately believes that his activism is like a nurturing mother caring for her baby: endless patience, a loving response to all desires, and gradual guidance towards the right direction. Steve likes to think of himself as someone who changes the world with the power of nurturing love and irresistible charm.

Zero violence whatsoever. Steve’s reality, however, is quite the opposite. He bans any caterer who packs food with plastic. He will not do business with companies that rely on animals in captivity, and he writes many abrasive articles against politicians he suspects of corruption. While such behaviors are apparently consistent with his business goals, his ban on plastic actually cripples many families’ current income models in several third world countries.

His refusal to work with attraction parks using animals does little to change the way such parks think or operate. Quite on the contrary, many of them go out of their way to contradict him with defensive ad campaigns. And his insulting articles have won him a pretty acid reputation among colleagues and peers. Steve’s demeanor and language are quite aggressive in general. His eyes have a steely-hard shine to them, and his voice cuts off harshly at the end of each sentence.

Steve wants to be nurturing and tender like a mother. But icy violence is contained in his words and actions. Which of course brings him no shortage of entrepreneurial explosions, exhausting battles in court, and distasteful public attacks at events. The world brings Steve exactly what he needs to unveil the secret of his own personality: he is not the loving mother he would like to become. He behaves much more like the violent father he tries to forget.

Life, and its fundamental law of attraction will continue to bring conflict, attack and hardship on Steve until he comes to terms with his past reality. So if he asks you for your investment, well, what do you want me to say? Simply be aware that if you strongly feel like you should give him your money after reading all this, it’s because your secret means you need to lose some money in order to uncover something valuable about yourself! ;-)!

The secret to your leadership is right in front of you. Just look at what life offers you here and now, and stop dreaming of something else. This is who you are. The day you fall in love with this, here and now, is the day you’ll be ready to lead others. Your secret will be unveiled.

This summer I visited the ancient ruins of Akrotiri on the Greek Island of Santorini. Akrotiri had been a wealthy, flourishing city enjoying a booming commerce because it was on an important trade route between Cyprus and Crete.

I witnessed very advanced building construction including indoor toilets on the second floor of homes, complete with sophisticated waste management systems.  Carvings and paintings reflected artisans who were extremely talented. Their form of government was enlightened and progressive. Life was good in the city of Akrotiri in 1627 B.C.

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But, there were periodic earthquakes that signaled an impending volcanic eruption nearby. Since earthquakes were not that unique, the people of Akrotiri believed they had plenty of time to prepare should they need to escape catastrophe. Finally, the leaders of the town thought it was time to leave. Every single citizen boarded large boats and departed the island of Santorini for a safer domicile. 

When the Theran eruption occurred, the blast was massive. Scientists estimate that 40,000 people were likely killed in just a few hours. Volcanic ash was blown as far away as Asia and Africa. It caused a drop in global temperatures and created strangely colored sunsets that lasted for at least three years. The blast was heard 3,000 miles away. 

And, the citizens of Akrotiri? Archeologists believe they waited too late to leave. The estimated forty-foot tsunami created by the eruption would have swallowed up any boat of that time. The entire population of Akrotiri disappeared without a trace. The city was not discovered until 1967—over 3500 years after it was deeply buried (and preserved) by volcanic ash. Some believe Akrotiri is the lost City of Atlantis that Homer wrote about in the Odyssey—the city that has remained a mystery to seagoing adventurers! 

It is popular to talk about disruptors of business enterprise today. Business leaders in demand are those who lead bold, innovative companies—Tesla, Google, Amazon, even Uber. They not only disrupt their industry; they influence all industries. They are like the rumble of earthquakes stirring up the “way we’ve always done it.” We laud their outcomes, marvel at the methods, but find mimicking their pioneering spirit uniquely challenging. Fear of failure can keep too many leaders tied to the “tired and true,” despite evidence they need to early abandon their hesitation and board the ship to new frontiers.

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin in boldness.  Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

The pursuit of correctness often drives an aversion to the messy, unpredictable necessity to fail forward. Being “right” trumps being “effective.”  Too many leaders reward short term results and look with skepticism upon a novel approach, a revolutionary direction, or an experimental course. Calculation is king; experimentation is deemed hazardous. Some opt for the guaranteed certainty of mediocre over the uncertain prospect of distinction.  Their organizational metrics are anchored exclusively in the scientific method of proof rather than balanced with the creative arithmetic of adventure. Success today requires a deep commitment to being bold, not just looking good.

W. H. Murray, in his book, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition, wrote: “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves, too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.” Goethe called that unbridled commitment “boldness” and wrote: “Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin in boldness. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

We point to countless famous brands that were competitively drowned. Blockbuster had a chance in 2000 to buy Netflix for $50 million dollars. Borders outsourced all online purchases to Amazon because they saw little market for online books. Encyclopedia Britannica turned down an offer from Microsoft to put their product online.  We all know the stories of Kodak, Blackberry, Saturn, Motorola and Sony. And, we watch the current precariousness of Sears, Macy’s, Dell, Toys ‘R Us and Yahoo. Leading in times of change takes leaders willing to create and sustain a resilient, daring culture that gets on the boat of innovation.

In a recent article in RetailCustomerExperience.com by Chris Peterson entitled “Does Walmart really have a shot against the Amazon juggernaut?” Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos was quoted as saying: “I’ve made billions of dollars of failures at Amazon. None of those things are fun. But they also don’t matter. What really matters is companies that don’t continue to experiment, companies that don’t embrace failure eventually get in a desperate position where the only thing they can do is a Hail Mary bet at the very end of their corporate existence.” 

Bottom line, if you too long ignore the warning of the earthquakes of change, you will not be able to outrun the tidal wave of competition that will wash over you. We have reached the limits of incremental improvement. Corporate survival going forward depends on a bold commitment to be a pioneer, not an also-ran.

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A business can have huge success, which people will remember, or they can experience even more significant failures that people will find hard to forget. We often look to business leaders and entrepreneurs for good leadership styles, to understand their success stories and learn from their mistakes.

But it’s not only real-life businesses of which we should take note. As a fun exercise, employee benefits provider Unum, has taken a look at some fictional business from television and film and picked the 12 biggest business lessons. It may surprise you just how relevant and applicable they are to the real world.

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As an example, the Batman series is home to one of the biggest fictional companies, Wayne Enterprises. When the workload becomes too much for Bruce Wayne, he appoints Lucius Fox as his business partner. It’s a risky decision, but it works out for the best because Bruce knows he can trust Lucius due to their friendship. Other companies, however, don’t have the same success.

In The Simpsons, Mr. Burns’ nuclear power plant leaks radioactive waste and dumps waste in a playground. This obviously breaks many safety violations – but the main lesson here is to ensure that all employees are fully equipped and trained for the job to avoid such disasters. Other fictional companies simply show true leadership by adapting and changing their business operations.

In the popular Pixar film Monsters Inc, Sully and Mike prove that there are other ways to generate the city’s electricity by finding out that laughter works even better than screams! This scene demonstrates why companies shouldn’t become stuck in their ways. Tave a look below for some more business lessons from fictional businesses – that you might apply to your own business.

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Transitions – sometimes they are welcomed and sometimes they are dreaded. Either way, they are never easy and when not done well can leave lasting scars.

Too often, people focus on the logistical aspects of the transition and neglect the interpersonal. The departing leader, the new leader and the board all play critical roles. They must manage the interpersonal, and if they do, there is much greater probability that the transition will go smoothly.

Business, transitions occur for many reasons:

• Owner sells business to family member, partner or outside interest
• Leader changes role to allow key associate or family member to advance in the organization
• Crisis such as death, accident or illness requires an immediate transition
• Leader chooses to leave the organization or is forced out by owners or board

So why are transitions so hard, and so often handled badly? Three reasons: identity, emotions and relationships. Each of these determines the nature and processes of the transition.

Identity: Many leaders define who they are by what they do. They enjoy the recognition and perks that come with being the leader. People in the organization do whatever they ask and outsiders are eager to meet with them and often respond quickly. As leaders steps aside, they find that the allegiance is to the organization and not to them. They lose their expense account and administrative support. Who are they after they are no longer the CEO? They are left with no identity and no resources. Unless that is replaced with something else, they are lost.

Emotions: This feeling of loss is one of many emotions that come into play in transitions. Other possible emotions are anger, confusion and sadness on the negative side and relief, exhilaration and calmness on the positive. Whether the positive emotions outweigh the negative may be caused by why there was the transition (desirable or not) and whether the person or people leaving have created another role and identity for themselves outside the organization. Ideally this new role is both meaningful and time consuming to create positive emotions.

The new leaders are dealing with emotions as well, which could be equally positive or negative. Are they relieved to now be in charge or fearful they are not up for the task? Are they nervous about being listened to and followed or enthusiastic to have the opportunity?  Unless the departing leader is totally gone from the organization both parties will end up dealing with both their own negative emotions and those of the others.

Relationships: When the former leader is still involved in the organization in some capacity, his/her relationship with the new leader is key. Two key components of the relationship are past history and trust. Did the former leader previously work with the new leader? Is it a parent/child or similar senior/junior relationship? Do the leaders trust each other and is the former leader willing to let the new leader make their own mark? Often the former leader wants the new leader to run the organization just as he/she did. When the new leader does it differently, as they always will, that puts added strain on an already emotional relationship.

So, how do leaders best handle transitions? Consider the following:

1. Clearly define roles for the former leader within the organization. While a clean break is usually healthiest for the new leaders and the organization, for many reasons this often does not occur. If the former leader is the owner, parent or CEO becoming chairman, they will still want to be involved in some way. It is healthiest for the organization if the former leader has a well-defined and limited role. Most of his communication should be with the new leader and not the people under him/her.

2. The former leader creates a new identity. Often the new leader, board members or consultants could help the former leader create his/her new identity. What are the former leader’s passions, interests and hobbies? While hobbies, such as golf, are time-consuming they rarely give the former leader the mental stimulation or recognition they need to form their new identity. Could they volunteer, mentor or consult outside the organization or take on a project of some kind? This is a time when the former leader could make a difference by getting involved in a non-profit or helping young entreprenuers.

3. Communication is key. When both the former and new leaders talk about their new relationship, their emotions and identities, they could work through many issues festering just below the surface. The new leaders must always treat the former leader respectfully and explain up front that they may be doing some things differently. They could identify where they are aligned and not aligned, and discuss how to resolve the unaligned areas. Everyone must be invested in helping the former leader move on and the new leaders take charge.

4. Role of the Board. The best way that members of the board could support the transition is to transition along with leadership. Members of the board who have served with the former leader and are aligned with him/her could serve as confidantes to the former leader and guide him/her through the transition. They too ought to depart the board and allow new leadership to create their own board of advisors. Too often board members use the justification of having institutional knowledge when in fact this knowledge could prevent the organization from moving forward in a reinvigorated way. Boards today require fresh thinking and diverse perspectives. What better time to create that, than in a transition of leadership.

The smoothest transitions often have a well-articulated succession plan and clear processes for managing and communicating the changes. They also address the identity, emotional and relationship issues of both the former and new leaders and create an environment of open communication among the leaders and the board. The organization moves forward by respecting the former leader while having the latitude to innovate and build a team for the future. When done well, everyone excels in their new roles and the organization thrives.

After more than two decades of having the “Paper of Record” come to my door each morning, I cancelled my subscription to The New York Times. The shocking, confusing, door-darkening news on the front page posed too great a risk to my psyche. The election of Donald Trump as President provoked a sense of fear and disruption in me.

I have faced radical disruptions in my life. From having my first home almost destroyed by arson and then vandalized three times before we moved back in, to my wife’s three consecutive miscarriages before our child was born, to watching the Twin Towers fall from my office window to an employee stealing an enormous sum from our company as the economy crashed in 2008. 

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Those disruptions taught me the critical importance of creating internal and external structures to feel safe. Feeling safe psychologically, financially and socially is essential for survival and certainly for finding opportunity in crisis. Opportunity can be seized even in the midst of fear. I was able to survive and even grow enormously through each of these crisis. But operating out of fear is not sustainable. It is exhausting and if it persists long enough it will reverse any gains that have been made.

Even these life-altering experiences left me unprepared for the radical disruption of our new political leadership. I needed new, inspiring ways of being to create hope and meaningful change in my life and work. So I cancelled my subscription to The New York Times and found a new strategy to engage the world when I opened the door in the morning. I still pay attention to the news, yet now, I am more selective about where, when and how much of it I consume.

Limiting my exposure to the seemingly nonstop onslaught of bad news, I became better able to ask the central question I pose in my new book Culture of Opportunity: “What is the opportunity in this disruption?” The answers came to me in fits and starts, piecing themselves together as I followed the subtle clues that seeped into my brain. Smile sweetly to strangers. Open doors for them, recognize something that stands out. Be even closer to my family and friends. Listen more deeply to how their hearts are affected. And (much more difficult for me) tell them how my heart often felt broken wide open by the cruelty that seemed to have been given an official seal of approval.

In the work we do at The Opportunity Lab, we have focused even more on helping our clients build Cultures of Opportunity, safe places for their people to have a voice, even when that voice challenges the status quo. We encourage cultures that enable people from all parts of the organization to contribute. Our tools, like SuccessDNA, Opportunity Teams, 360 feedback reviews, and Resource Maps all make the talents, relationships and knowledge of an organization visible and accessible. We have been able to support the sustainable growth of companies that care deeply about their customers, their employees, the communities they do business in, and the Earth that supports all of it. 

With our government in a state of gridlock, I have come to believe that business must be the driving force to create a more caring and conscious world. By business I mean customers, employees, shareholders, vendors and leaders. As participants in government we vote, at most, once a year. As participants in the businesses we interact with, we can vote many times every day. We can choose who we work for, who we buy from, and who we invest in. 

Businesses and people who understand that these disruptions are opportunities in disguise take the time to assess the changing landscape. Their belief that they need to adapt made them grow and stronger. Those that succumbed to denial and resistance did not. Look at the extraordinary organizations that grew stronger or started up during the crisis: Patagonia, Unilever, Warby Parker, Eileen Fisher, Etsy, Method, Trader Joes, Costco, Starbucks, Ford, and The Huffington Post, to cite a few examples.

These organizations have a higher purpose and care deeply about their customers, their people, and the planet. This adaptability allowed them to prosper even in times of great disruption. You can choose to buy from, invest in and work for these great companies. How do we answer the question: what is the opportunity in this disruption? We answer it by voting every day, choosing the companies we buy from, work for, and invest in.

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