Leadership Archives - Page 55 of 97

A Tribute to Will Marre: “Your Mission is My Mission”

Posted on March 2, 2018January 14, 2026 by Real Leaders

We received the news at Real Leaders this week that one of our longstanding contributors, Will Marre, had passed away. While saddened by the loss of such a dynamic leader, we have chosen rather to celebrate his life.

Will passed away while engaged in one of the greatest passions of his life: surfing. Although absolutely robust in body, mind, and spirit, he suffered from a minor congenital heart defect to which he seemed to have finally succumbed. His passion and energy for unearthing the best human we could be was contagious, and is best understood by the fact that his family asked those attending his memorial service to wear bright, vibrant colors and comfortable shoes for a beach walk.

He was prolific in telling the world that “your mission is my mission” – spoken in many instances to the thousands of women he coached – in a strongly-held belief that we all have the power to shape our future for the better. “Women’s full contribution in leadership is a survive and thrive issue for the future of every human being,” he once said.

His Institute for Leadership Synergy aimed to train one million women in the next five years to become effective leaders. He believed in the synergy between the results-focused strengths of hard power and collaborative strengths of soft power – a trend that is proving successful at empowering teams in organizations around the world.

Will left enough thought-provoking leadership insight to last many lifetimes. Perhaps the legacy he leaves for those who admired and followed him should be one of social inheritance: “His mission is now our mission.”

Here we reflect on some of Will’s best wisdom from the past years:

How to Inspire Yourself When You’re the Victim of Bias

Psychologists have determined that our confidence grows when we believe that making our best efforts will result in achieving our goals. When the link between our effort and our results is broken we begin to lose our confidence and our motivation to keep trying. Demotivation grows exponentially when we see other people achieving their goals without making the same efforts that we are. It feels unfair… because it is.

Why is Donald Trump So Popular?

The world is a very confusing and scary place right now. The forces of violence and our economic well-being seem out of control. So when someone shows up brimming with insane levels of confidence (strength), and who promises to defend you against your greatest fears (empathy-warmth) they will get your attention.

Why Everything Bad Will Change for the Better

It is now very clear that the children of boomers will not pay their dues. That’s because they don’t want to join the club their parents have built. They have seen what mindless obedience to the “man” buys. It is not the life they admire or value. The accumulation of evermore stuff does not create happiness, satisfaction or even enjoyment. They have discovered that travel can be more enriching when you sleep in a spare bedroom of an AirBnB than a five-star hotel. They were suckered into massive student loans for inadequate educations. They have little loyalty to employers who have no loyalty to employees.

The One Simple Thing You Can Do to Love Your Work

Let me encourage you. Don’t settle for a job. Don’t degrade your life for a career. What you do matters. You are designed perfectly to succeed at your true calling. And please believe me, with all the research I’ve conducted and all the coaching that I’ve done I can assure you what I am saying is not goofy, pie-in-the-sky. Many, many, many people have it all and so can you.

How Men and Women Can Co-Create Unexpected Value

The deeper problem is that simply telling men they should value women as leaders only adds energy to the stereotype that women need ‘special’ help because they are the weaker sex. This kind of thinking is not confined to the ‘Mad Men’ era.
It’s the unspoken bias that stubbornly persists.

Two Million in Jail in the US. If You Were in Charge, What Would You Do?

Psychologists have learned that the biggest influence on our behavior is the personal story of our identity. If your identity was that you were destined for a meaningless grinding life or worse, jail, who do you think you might become? I have spent deep time with fellow human beings whose hope was stolen from them before they could even talk. I get exasperated when some self-righteous idiot politician points to a few who have somehow escaped an awful personal history to become a remarkable self-sufficient human being.

Your Moment of Truth – Why Do You Run?

I have found every success story has a moment of truth where you either go all in or shrink. There are small and mighty forces that are focused on positively changing the way we all think about the purpose of work, our economy, business and society. The opposing force of the powerful status quo is well financed and very noisy. They are both powerful and stupid. They justify what is unjustifiable. Yes, we can defeat them.

12 Ways to Stop Wasting Time in Meetings

Posted on February 23, 2018January 14, 2026 by Real Leaders

Google’s head of marketing made headlines for juggling as many as 20 meetings in a day—all of which she said she aims to make as productive as possible. And while double-digit daily meetings may not be ideal, every marketing leader could stand to manage meeting time more effectively.

To wit, nearly two-thirds of marketers said that “wasteful” meetings hurt their productivity rate, according to a recent report by Workfront.

“Meetings facilitate collaboration, which can lead to greater engagement, creativity, and productivity when done right,” said Rhonda Overby, president and CEO of Baltimore-based marketing and PR agency Camera Ready, in an interview with CMO.com. “If all you’re ever doing is meeting, however, that potential is undermined as there’s no time to do. Success comes with the proper balance of discussion and action.”

Endless meetings can cause marketing professionals to confuse activity with productivity. “If someone spends six hours in meetings, they’re killing more than half their workday right there,” said Dennis Collins, senior director of marketing for InterCall, in an interview with CMO.com. “Even when meetings seem completely necessary, just one extra meeting per day can negatively impact employee productivity.”

A need to generate consensus, collaborate, or advance a project are all decent reasons to bring people together. Status reports or updates are not. One simple rule: If you can’t quickly pull together an agenda or a goal for a corporate confab, scratch it.

What else should marketers keep in mind? Here are 12 do’s and don’ts shared with CMO.com for getting the most out of meetings. We bet you’ll be nodding your head as you make your way through this list.

Do Send Out An Agenda

“The No 1 reason for a poor meeting is the lack of an agenda,” said Mark Roberts, CMO at ShoreTel. “A good agenda will outline topics to be covered, goals, required attendees, materials needed, and a start and stop time.”

Try to keep most agendas to 30 minutes, and distribute the meeting plan at least two hours prior. “Always give any assignments well in advance of a meeting so that people can be prepared with the right content,” said Marissa Tarleton, CMO of Retailmenot. Use the functionality of Web or videoconferencing tools to post the agenda as a visual reminder during the meeting.

Don’t Schedule Status Meetings

Consider using digital tools for project management, rather than calling a meeting for progress updates. “No one wants to sit around and rehash the work they’ve been doing,” said Joe Staples, CMO of Workfront. “They should be sharing creative ideas to resolve challenges, brainstorming, and collaborating.”

Do Master The Basics

Try to determine the most productive time of day for the get together, especially if you have attendees in multiple time zones, Staples advised. Arrive at meetings early, and encourage others to do so. Start on time—whether or not all parties are present. “Meetings can never run later than scheduled, but we hope to accomplish the meeting goal earlier than the time allotted for the meeting,” said George Athan, CEO of Mindstorm Strategic Consulting. “This prevents one meeting to affect others.”

Never combine meeting purposes, either. “If you want to praise your team, don’t [tack it on to] a meeting about something else,” said Alexander Ruggie, PR director for 911 restoration.

Also, treat every meeting as important, said Chris Trick, CMO of ERA Real Estate. “While the tone and formality of gatherings can vary, the value of the attendees’ time doesn’t, so make sure you bring the same energy each time,” Trick said.

Do Guide The Discussion

“When the conversation strays off topic or moves beyond the meeting agenda, bring the discussion back and table any relevant points raised for future discussion,” Shoretel’s Roberts said. “Being overly polite to people who hijack a meeting will only result in it being less productive.”

Eliminate distractions, such as mobile devices and computers, and discourage side conversations.

Don’t Streamline At The Expense Of Valuable Input

“When it is clear that the priority is speed and efficiency, it’s inevitable that some voices will not be heard,” said Patrick Partridge, CMO of Western Governors University. “That’s why it’s important to create a safe and open environment where the sharing of ideas and opinions is allowed and encouraged. Meetings tend to favor those who are more vocal, but it’s important to not overlook these additional voices that can add to the meeting.”

While maintaining meeting focus is critical, so, too, is soliciting input from more introverted or junior attendees. “Encourage open, honest, and straightforward dialogue, and be vocal about this at the start of a meeting to set the tone,” ERA Real Estate’s Trick said. Capture off-topic ideas (designate a note taker) while moving the conversation along.

Do Have Fun

“Once a meeting becomes boring, all productivity goes out the window,” said Eric Bosco, CEO of programmatic advertising firm Choicestream. Bosco has been known to arm a team lead with a nerf gun to shoot any speakers who run over their allotted time. (That meeting was very productive, Bosco said.)

Once a month, Retailmenot’s Tarleton has her team nominate a star performer to spin a wheel for prizes (stand-up paddle boarding, house cleaning, restaurant gift cards) at the marketing meeting. “For weekly companywide meetings, we infuse humor with two-minute long, employee-produced videos,” Tarleton said.

Don’t Always Spread Meetings Out

Consider clustering them. “Scheduling back-to-back meetings forces you to start and end them on time,” said Talent Inc. CMO Diego Lomanto. “Furthermore, the half hour between meetings is rarely productive, other than answering emails, which should be batch-processed anyway. Consecutive meetings enable chunks of time for handing deep-dive work.”

Do Take Breaks

Ideally, meetings should last 30 minutes or less, but long meetings are sometimes necessary. In those cases, offer intermissions. “Though it may seem counterintuitive, interrupting the meeting for a break actually helps with productivity,” ERA Real Estate’s Trick said. “If done correctly, quick five- to 10-minute breaks help your team refocus and re-engage by giving them time to get up, walk around, check their phones or email, and then return to the meeting

Don’t Hold Hostages

Not everyone needs to stay for the entire meeting, particularly on conference calls. “Most people don’t stop to consider this; they just issue a blanket invite for the entire meeting to all attendees,” Intercall’s Collins said. “By planning ahead and reviewing the agenda, managers can stagger invitations accordingly to ensure attendees’ time isn’t wasted. One of the biggest drops in productivity comes from distraction–that happens when people find the meeting irrelevant and yet they need to get other work accomplished.”

Don’t Always Be Predictable

Change the scenery. Change the time. “To awaken creativity, change the routine and get out of the office,” Talent’s Lomanto said. “A change of environment can yield a change in strategic thinking.”

Consider booking meetings at unexpected times. “I often set meetings for only 15 minutes or schedule their start at the quarter hour,” Collins said. “This builds a buffer in case attendees are slammed in long-running back-to-back [meetings], and it also stands out more obviously in people’s calendars, so there are fewer no-shows or late arrivals that drain the momentum and productivity out of the meeting.”

Do Close With A Plan

Meetings should be vehicle for decision-making.

“It’s common that at the conclusion of a meeting a fair amount of ambiguity may exist,” Western Governors University’s Partridge said. “It is important to reach a consensus or at least clarify the direction or decisions and to identify future actions required.”

Retailmenot’s Tarleton ends every meeting with a list of actions items and who is responsible for them. “Not only does this make meetings more efficient, it streamlines workflow in general,” she said.

Don’t Be Afraid To Decline

Even the most thoughtful leader can find himself mindlessly accepting every meeting request that hits his inbox. “Just because you get an invite doesn’t mean you have to accept it blindly,” Collins said. “Check the agenda and attendees. If it doesn’t seem like you fit, ask the host why they want you and if it has to be for the entire duration. You’ll help them clarify their intent and might save a few minutes of your time in the process.”

10 Reasons Why Pope Francis is a Real Leader

Posted on February 22, 2018January 14, 2026 by Real Leaders

The first non-European pope in more than 1,200 years, and someone with an outspoken style and radically different leadership style has made Pope Francis one of the most controversial pope’s ever.

His views on church reform, poverty, climate change and divorce have shaken up world opinion and placed him firmly in the media spotlight. His visits to Israel and Cuba, the welcoming of Palestine president, Mahmoud Abbas to the Vatican, his address to the U.S. Congress and willingness to meet world leaders demonstrate that he is a pope unafraid of international diplomacy. A real leader does not shy away from crisis and debate, but embraces them as part of finding a solution. Here are his views on ten key issues, in his own words:

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1. Human Rights

“Human rights are not only violated by terrorism, repression or assassination, but also by unfair economic structures that creates huge inequalities.”

2. Equality

“We must restore hope to young people, help the old, be open to the future, spread love. Be poor among the poor. We need to include the excluded and preach peace.”

3. Peace

“Each of us has a vision of good and of evil. We have to encourage people to move towards what they think is good… Everyone has his own idea of good and evil and must choose to follow the good and fight evil as he conceives them. That would be enough to make the world a better place.”

4. Finance

“There is a need for financial reform along ethical lines that would produce in its turn an economic reform to benefit everyone. This would nevertheless require a courageous change of attitude on the part of political leaders.”

5. Work

“Together with a culture of work, there must be a culture of leisure as gratification. To put it another way: people who work must take the time to relax, to be with their families, to enjoy themselves, read, listen to music, play a sport.”

6. The Environment

“May the relationship between man and nature not be driven by greed, to manipulate and exploit, but may the divine harmony between beings and creation be conserved in the logic of respect and care.”

7. Sustainability

“Never have we so hurt and mistreated our common home as we have in the last 200 years.”

8. World Economy

“The idea of infinite or unlimited growth, which proves so attractive to economists, financiers and experts in technology … is based on the lie that there is an infinite supply of the earth’s goods, and this leads to the planet being squeezed dry at every limit.”

9. Government

“Every man, every woman who has to take up the service of government, must ask themselves two questions: ‘Do I love my people in order to serve them better? Am I humble and do I listen to everybody, to diverse opinions in order to choose the best path?’ If you don’t ask those questions, your governance will not be good.”

10. Power

“You cannot be in a position of power and destroy the life of another person.”

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3 Things I Learned from Losing a Tennis Match to Richard Branson

Posted on February 3, 2018January 14, 2026 by Johann Berlin

While it’s well known that Richard Branson is many things—successful entrepreneur, space tourism pioneer, business visionary—what’s not so well known is that he is also an accomplished tennis player.

In fact, Richard says that his big dream growing up had nothing at all to do with business, it was playing on Centre Court at Wimbledon—the epicenter of the tennis world. Each year, he sponsors the Necker Cup, a pro-am tennis tournament that brings together top professional and amateur players to raise funds for charity.

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A few years back, I had the opportunity to play tennis (informal, social) with Richard Branson on Necker Island, the private Caribbean island retreat he built to get away from the hustle and bustle of his vast business empire (and, sadly, devastated in 2017 by Hurricane Irma). If you’ve met Richard in person, you know that his overall persona is one of adventure, fun, warmth, cordiality, and social responsibility, and certainly that was the atmosphere created within the gathering of leaders I had been invited to.

While I won’t say I greatly impressed Richard with my tennis skills, I will say that I took away some key observations and lessons from that match. Here are three that left the greatest impression on me.

1. Have fun

Create fun, let others feel at home. It doesn’t really matter what people’s skill level is, people should feel they can participate and enjoy creating in an engaging atmosphere. Fun is a big part of what we want in life. We want to feel included, engaged, and that we can play.

Play can also be an important part of work. In fact, it’s a powerful way to reset, bring out our most creative self, and make us feel connected to one another. As Richard explains, “I see work as just one part of life and it is certainly not more important than play. They are two sides of the same coin.”

2. Focus when it matters

Even though the overall spirit of our match was fun and lighthearted—Branson smiled often between points—make no mistake about it: he was very focused when we were actually playing the game. I was impressed with his ability to quickly and seamlessly flex between these two states of mind: relaxed and fun, but also focused and on point. This ability to pivot in real time is as important for success in business as it is for success on the tennis court.

Showing up in the moments that matter means we can relax and enjoy the process, and also dig in when we truly need to.

3. Master your craft

After I played a tie-breaking, one-on-one with Branson during our match, I wanted to perform well. But no matter how hard I tried, I seemed to be continuously off balance or behind. After he beat me (7-0), Richard gave me a big smile and said “Don’t worry, mate. I play twice a day with a coach.” Branson understands the power of learning and mastering his craft—it’s the way we grow. Says Richard about his coaching sessions, “I ask lots of questions, and I am not afraid to look foolish by asking seemingly obvious questions—sometimes they get the most useful answers.”

When we do something over and over again, we lose our care and attention for it. However, when we bring intentionality and honor to what we’re doing, each action, no matter how small or big, can be an expression of our excellence. And, ultimately, that’s the best way we can honor ourselves, our businesses, and the world in which we live.

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Protecting Your Career and Company from Sharks

Posted on January 23, 2018January 14, 2026 by Chas Klivans

“There are a lot of sharks in the world. So, if you want to change the world, don’t back down from the sharks.” – Adm. William H. McRaven, Commander of Special Operations Command, Commencement Address University of Texas, May 17, 2014

What We Can Learn From Facing the Flames

The headlines are on fire with the flames of mass shootings and bad boy sexual predators. This article explores the lessons I learned as a psychotherapist and CEO business builder – to provide tools millennials can implement today to address predators in the workplace. My encounters with predators go back to when I was a young man hitchhiking alone around the world and getting thrown in jail in Afghanistan.

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Locked-Up Psychopaths Have Traits of Rogue Business Leaders

I was working behind three sets of locked doors at an adult psychiatric unit for the criminally insane, sitting three feet away from a man who’d been locked up for life for raping 26 women. His speech revealed a lack of emotion, and he was without a conscience, yet he was so charming and understanding. I felt valued – the seductive con.

Then he started finishing my sentences for me. Something deep in me sensed that I was in a closed room with a predatory animal. Instantly, I was transported back in time – back to Afghanistan inside a wretched jail with an Afghani guard working me over.

The Abuse of Subordinates by CEOs Is Shocking Because It’s Preventable

In every company, people with important positions know what everyone makes in pay and perks (and who sleeps with whom). We saw this in the October 21, 2017, New York Times article “Sharing a Name of Infamy, Bob Weinstein Struggles With a Scandal’s Fallout” that reported Bob Weinstein’s apparent ignorance of his brother’s behavior. However, this was refuted in the article citing Kathy DeClesis, Bob Weinstein’s former assistant. DeClesis recalls confronting him about his brother’s behavior over a quarter-century ago. “Your brother is a pig,” Ms. DeClesis remembers telling Bob Weinstein….”

Being a Predator is a Team Blood Sport
Bullies and predators are always kept in place by angels above them. This leads to the uncomfortable truth that shaming and bullying are a team blood sport.

How to Protect Yourself and Your Company from the Nearest Predator

Try the following recipe for good recruitment and promotion hygiene.

Executive Due Diligence
Most of us do financial, legal, operational, criminal, and external due diligence on a candidate.
However, I add a sixth level of risk management to discern someone’s character and competence – this is the most important. The only industrial grade tool I’ve discovered is the Bio-Psycho-Social Assessment and is an easy test for ordinary people to master. The Bio-Psycho Assessment delivers an intuitive “feel” on whether a person will be easy to do business with or if they will be intimidating. The assessment identifies their ideal role within a group, which can be revealed by asking them what role they were given by peers when they played as young children or in high school. Children and young teens do not grant leadership to narcissistic bullies.

The Iron Frame of Reference
The most profitable companies are fun to work at and perpetually create new products that jump the innovation curve. But for people to take these risks, the company environment needs to be fertile and safe. Millennials in our midst need to be nurtured, not preyed upon. Isn’t this what we all want?

Strap On Your Helmut and Enter the Arena with the Predator
In boardrooms I have sat next to lawyers, organization development specialists, and human resource managers – who all fail to identify and stop bullies at work. The only glimmer of hope to salvage your business and career is for you to become a “Lion.”

“The Lion King” Shows Us How to Integrate: Our Aggression and Society’s Aggression
Canadian psychology professor Jordan B. Peterson beautifully describes this personal transformation of the Lion to be King in a lecture, “Carl Jung and the Lion King.”
“A person who hasn’t embraced his shadow is someone who feels incapable of doing damage to someone. But when the bully comes and starts to bully this person, he can’t defend himself, because he can’t do damage. To embrace the shadow in this context would mean to stand up for yourself. Don’t let the bully walk over you and do damage to other people. Morality doesn’t come from not doing damage. It comes from the realization that you can do damage, but you choose not to.”

Summary Thoughts

Bullies are cancer to all companies because the wheels of commerce turn because they are greased with trust. Organizations scale-up and become highly profitable when they become based on kindness, respect, trust, and transparency.

Companies should be safe havens, a sanctuary from the evil in society – where we can build achievements that make us proud. Business is about putting pieces in place that do not exist, so we need millennials who are unencumbered emotionally to walk down a path of individuation eagerly.

Coming into your leadership power starts with becoming bully-proof. Become the Lion you were always meant to be!

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How Did Our Politics Get Us Here? Why We Vote For Lying Demagogues

Posted on January 20, 2018January 14, 2026 by Real Leaders

A year after Donald Trump’s inauguration, many pundits and citizens alike continue to try to understand the results of the 2016 election. At the heart of the matter is a legitimate question that deserves to be considered not only for its importance to Trump’s victory, but also as it relates to many other governments worldwide and throughout history.

The pressing question is: How can voters find a candidate “authentically appealing” even though that candidate appears to many to be a “lying demagogue”?

A new study published online (Jan. 10, 2018) by the American Sociological Review, authored by scholars from the MIT Sloan School of Management and the Carnegie Mellon University Tepper School of Business suggests that even when voters understand that a candidate is untruthful they can still view that candidate as an authentic champion of his constituency.

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For example, a post-election survey conducted by the authors indicates that Trump voters recognized one of his most egregious lies yet voted for him because of his perceived authenticity.

Together, Oliver Hahl of the Tepper School of Business at Carnegie Mellon and Minjae Kim and Ezra Zuckerman Sivan of the MIT Sloan School conducted two online experiments on a simulated college election to test an innovative theory geared to explain this puzzling behavior.

“The key to our theory,” says Ezra Zuckerman Sivan, professor and deputy dean of MIT’s Sloan School, “is that when a candidate asserts an obvious untruth especially as part of a general attack of establishment norms, his anti-establishment listeners will pick up on his underlying message that the establishment is illegitimate and, therefore, that candidate will have an “authentic” appeal despite the falsehoods.”

In other words, such a candidate can appear to be an authentic champion to his constituency precisely because of his lies and demagoguery but only when the political establishment appears to be self-serving or biased towards an upstart group.

“While many accounts deal with the irrationality of supporting a lying demagogue, our account shows why support for a lying demagogue can be based on a rational interpretation of the motives behind the lying and demagoguery. The key is that our studies articulate how particular grievances and resentment can create distrust in the current power structure, leading to attributions of authenticity for those candidates who seek to undermine the establishment,” says Oliver Hahl of Carnegie Mellon.

An important implication of this study is that various oft-discussed factors—cultural differences, echo chambers of like-minded news outlets, and gender differences—may not be necessary for explaining key dynamics in the 2016 election. Perhaps most remarkably, the study shows men and women, Clinton voters and Trump voters, were all responsive to the authentic appeal of the lying demagogue as long as that candidate appears to channel their grievances.

“One of the insights from our study is that our current political situation is a general social phenomenon that has occurred in different times and contexts,” says Minjae Kim a graduate student at MIT. “It is easy to dismiss some political events and rhetoric taking place today as abnormal and thus not worth paying attention to, but our study helps us understand an important general driver that lies behind demagoguery in political rhetoric. Insofar as politicians try to appear as authentic champions of their constituents, lying demagoguery will remain as a socially destructive but individually attractive strategy, from any side of the political spectrum.”

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A Journey of Change: From Gangster to Social Entrepreneur

Posted on January 18, 2018 by test005

The story of Junior Smart. Pulled into the world of offenders and now helping the very people he once was.

The first, most important thing I could say (especially as an ex-offender) was that my upbringing was not too dissimilar to the lives of many of our clients I serve today. I was raised in a good family home, two sisters, and one brother. My mother and my father tried to instill good family values; which were to work really hard, achieve success and help others. I was the youngest, which meant I was spoilt, but having sickle cell anemia meant that I was treated with kid gloves because I was always unwell and was really slow in terms of physical development. When my dad died my mother and I became even closer.

She always tried to push me in terms of my comfort zone. I was always very creative as a child – wild imaginations and all that. I wanted to be a doctor and help other sickle cell children. That was my goal as a child. One of the most important lessons I learned as a child growing up was that for some people it was almost natural to victimize or take from the weak. For some they have no shame or even reflective capacities in doing so. Suffering from sickle cell anemia meant that I was regularly in hospital, especially as a child.

My mother did the best for me whenever I was ill, encouraging me to read and learn and sometimes this meant that when I returned to school I was not necessarily behind but ahead. This meant that when the teacher asked the class questions I would normally have my hand up first. Unfortunately this meant that I was bullied quite a lot. Midway into secondary school I kind of gave up because I was tired of being seen as weak and unpopular.

I failed every single one of my GCSEs but my mum pushed me to go back to college and retake them. I got a full house – a complete pass on six subjects. But what was most exciting was that over the six week break I shot up from 4.5 ft to 6ft and the world changed for me, girls started to notice me (which wasn’t bad for someone who was called a geek) and at college I was actually respected and given responsibility. It was a great time.

I had landed a place at university, which would have been the beginning of great things, but then my mother died. My sisters took it really badly and I tried to be there for them rather than to focus on myself. We were left in tons of debt and at one point homeless because the property we were living in was built for disabled families only, so we were given just two weeks to vacate.

I decided to defer my university placement for what was originally only going to be a year. Before I knew it, I got caught up in the world of working to pay bills and spend money. Before long my attention became focused on how to make more money and so I developed a music promotion business because there were many young people in the community who wanted to break into the music industry.

We held club nights and this boosted my ego as well as giving me an extra income from my day job. I was a pillar of the community and all the kids knew me. However mixing in these circles opened the door to illegitimate groups too. After a confrontation with a rival promoter on the radio, I needed a tougher circle around me – that led to my later offence.

Personal epiphanies

When I was 17 I was robbed at knifepoint by a group of boys. I was going out with this spectacular looking girl, my first ever-proper girlfriend. One of those women that made me look in the mirror and think ‘Hey I am a man!’ I had arranged to meet her at a local funfair when these boys followed me, approached and then threatened me. We had a bit of a scuffle and they ended up taking my money, I managed to escape and get on a nearby bus but I found out to my horror that I had no money left and the bus driver kicked me off the bus to face my perpetrators again.

I remember storming into the house really upset. I was determined to take a knife from the kitchen but my mother was there cooking food. However, my sister sensed that something was wrong. She gave me this long, everlasting hug and asked me what happened. I told her what I intending on doing and she made me think of the various consequences – including losing my own life to these people who were less than me.

I decided not to go through with it. But I’ll never forget that night because it was the time I decided I would never again be a victim – of circumstance or otherwise. The night I was arrested was a huge epiphany for me. A lot of people have questioned whether I changed my mindset the night I was arrested. Nothing prepares you for arrest or custody. It’s nothing like anything you see in films. It’s scary; the cell confining and has a stench even now I cannot describe.

I remember pacing up and down the cell, asking for water and having it poured on the floor, the officers rubbing their hands with glee at my arrest and arguing over who was going to claim it as their own. I remember thinking that over the years I had gone from being a victim to a perpetrator and back again. The phone call I made to my sister was one of the worst calls I have ever made. I had been living a dual life; one person to her and my family, another to my friends and another to my peers’ enemies.

That night all the worlds came crashing together. The worst thing now was there were no way out and no support. I remember asking a police officer if there was any support for people like me and he had a smirk on his face as he told me that “where you are going to mate, you can ask to speak to the ‘Listeners’ (a group of prisoners trained by the Samaritans to support inmates going through crisis). Ha ha you can talk to them all night long…” with that he closed the flap. I think he misunderstood me. If there was no support for people like me then I was determined to create it. The next day I was sent down to Highdown prison.

I did call the Listeners but did so to find out about the application process. Eight weeks later I was on their training course and that was the start of a long journey of change. The last epiphany I want to mention occurred when I was in prison. I could see the systemic failures of the penal system. I had two cellmates. One was a cockney lad called Ricky who just seemed to love prison. Every morning he would get up like a radio broadcaster, run into the centre of the wing and scream “Good Morning World!”

My other pad mate, Len, was a huge bulk of a man but like me he had never been in prison before and he used to spend each morning and evening crying because he missed his children. Right there I had the spectrum of the beginning and the end. Ricky had been in and out so much he was institutionalized, he had repeatedly served short sentences which did him no favors, whereas Len and I were looking at so long that the chances were very likely that we were going to have to become acclimatized in order to survive and in the process there was a danger that to survive mentally we were going to have to become like him.

I started to think what would be needed in order to break the cycle. Talking to Ricky, he knew he shouldn’t return, but I was horrified to find out that none of his underlying issues were ever being addressed. He was a drug addict, yet the prison system seemed never to address the real issue of his addiction. Instead they had him on anger management courses for assaulting a police officer, CBT for a burglary charge and had him serve a 16-week sentence for stealing a car.

When he told me his girlfriend was expecting a baby I was filled with thoughts of how my life would have turned out if my mum was an addict so I decided to work with him, and offer him my personal support day and night and in due time got him to talk to the officer on the wing and explain his addiction. They gave him the help he needed, got him on Subutex to placate his addiction and I was eventually pleased to see him get released.

But no more than eight weeks later he was back in again. The reason? Well, his prescription for Subutex didn’t follow him back into the community, his benefits hadn’t kicked in on his release, he was back in the same area with the same associates, the list goes on, but it all led to a relapse. Now he was back in prison for beating up his girlfriend. I couldn’t believe it. Why on earth do they keep doing what doesn’t work?

Is it so blindsided that you only see an individual as a criminal as an excuse to ignore the underlying issues? I couldn’t understand why I was the only one who could see this. When you think how much it costs, (£77k a year per person) it’s incredible to think just how much money is wasted and with as much as 75% offenders being reconvicted within two years it seems foolish not to do something about it by making changes.

Journey of Change

The SOS Project was the first complete exoffender led project in the country, utilizing a team of ex-offenders to provide a two-tier intervention on both practical and personal levels. That was a big one – taking on the culture that says offenders cannot change, be trusted or given responsibility. However the real question is why, when so many other services such as AA (Alcoholics Anonymous), Domestic Violence Support, drug and Rape services all incorporate user involvement to sculpt and improve the efficiency of their service.

Furthermore, offenders are disproportionately affected in terms of employment – it makes clear sense to have a service whose main priority is to give the right offenders an opportunity. We provide an holistic, tailor-made service which adapts to the client’s needs depending on their issues, we befriend and provide intensive support – helping those caught up in negative cycles when they are in prison and in the community to navigate the Social Services, to find housing, to get training, to find jobs.

The aim is for the client to reduce and cease offending altogether and to prevent further victims. Once an individual’s needs are met, SOS service becomes one of general support and mentoring, for weeks or months, and sometimes even years if necessary.

Unlike many other services, our cases are never closed. Even when a client has successfully reintegrated into the community their case is always open and we are always contactable. I’m aware this tailored approach is rarely used outside of my project because it’s resource heavy and time consuming, but I know it works.

I adapted and developed the core principles of putting offenders at the centre of the solution because I saw what didn’t work first-hand and there was so many areas where the ideas matched the ethos of St Giles Trust, such as starting the mentoring process prior to release that it further enhanced our results and gave us greater credibility.

Changemaking

I am very hands-on with my staff and very practical in the way I deal with things. Even now I have an active caseload; I never want to be distant from the plight, the fear and the sadness of the young people I work with. I always say to my clients they can expect the absolute truth from me and I will always try and do what I say I am going to do. The team shares this vision because they all know what it is like to be let down or have others give them false promises.

The service has grown greatly since the time when it was just me, fortunately I learnt some really good skills from SSE (School of Social Entrepreneurs) and my business mentors which genuinely believe in me and in what I am doing. I take things very personally both with the clients and in the project. But I am still learning as well and still understanding what it is like to be part of a larger organization when sometimes my mind runs away with itself and I just want to make things happen! I hope that I inspire everyone I come into contact with but I would be happy even if I just had a positive effect on just one.

One young person that springs to mind was a young individual called Darren; a young man whom many services said was society’s worst and would never change. But he was more than that – he was a son and, when I met him, a soon-to-be father. His transformation did not come easily – in fact it took 5 years of consistent work, support in overcoming challenges and to leave his old associates and many, many hours in face-to-face contact with himself, his family and his support network.

I am pleased to say that he is now a catalyst for change in his own right. Two years ago he won an Ambassador for Change award through the South London Press and what he is accomplishing for himself will go on to effect many other people in his community. That is the positive effect of the service, and the positive ripple effect that an effective intervention and a changemaker can create.

Neuro Linguistic Programming says that ‘where there is a need there is a supply’, meaning that every need has sparked an invention. My mum used to say “No one ever came up with a good idea whilst they were celebrating” and one of my most favourite writers and entrepreneurs Jim Rohn says “Everyone can but not everyone will”. I think to be a changemaker once you are touched or motivated by something you have to know that you can make a change and that you will get to it.

Conclusion

My work is so important for me because it provides me with a real vent to create a positive change in the world in which I live. I remember reading about the life of Mahatma Ghandi and my favorite quote of his was to “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Every day gives me an opportunity to be a positive difference to others in a proactive way.

Everyone can make a difference to other individual’s lives; it doesn’t matter whether you are a teacher, a doctor, a manager or work as office admin or even a bus driver. The key thing is to really look at others as special unique individuals and to care for them with real compassion.

For me, I have just been given an incredible opportunity to take that one step further. Rather than being ignored as an offender, St Giles Trust gave me a real chance at changing my life, and for many others too. Today, I have just found out that funding has come in which means we can offer two more ex-offenders work on our team. This means that they will have the prospect of real employment with an employer that sees no barriers and a rewarding job that will make a real difference to society.

I don’t know many people I knew back then that could say that about their job or life. It sounds really sad that I had to come through so much to be where I am now but if it serves to change others then it’s a bitter pill well worth taking. Ashoka Network (ASN) has been so helpful to me.

Firstly, by bearing with me in the earlier days; there was so much I did not understand about the world of business and social entrepreneurship, and was still very raw in my approach. I think there is this thing where I always got fired up and had loads of ideas I just wanted to make happen all at once. I also felt isolated because there was no one else in my immediate peer group I could talk or relate to or that I could really bounce ideas off and be critical of my idea.

My mentor Catriona (I am going to mention her name because she was so fab) arranged for me to enroll at SSE which really gave me the hands-on learning curve that I needed and there I met loads of talented individuals with brains like spark plugs, suddenly we weren’t seeing obstacles we were seeing opportunities. The other way that Ashoka really worked for me was in the form of my ASN member who opened up quite a few networks for me which included building a new website for the project (www.sosproject.org.uk), a project film, helped me get into more areas such as Kensington and Chelsea and provided continual guidance to me.

Actually Kensington and Chelsea was an interesting one because when he first suggested it to me, I remember thinking “How can a Royal Borough really require a gangs worker?” However, when I did my research it actually has the highest division between rich and poor (in some areas this can literally be a matter of crossing the street) and the residents were contemplating having a security company come in to make residents feel safer.

My ASN member John Grumbar saw the value of dealing with the underlying issues and also being involved in recruitment. He was able to give me feedback on my management style, which was really insightful. With his help we organized fundraising events, got the project going in the borough and I saw the value of real networks first hand. Ashoka is simply incredible.

Have You Reached a Point Where Size Doesn’t Matter Anymore?

Posted on January 16, 2018 by Pino Bethencourt Gallagher

Everyone reaches a point in life when they realize that size doesn’t matter. That moment comes sooner to some and later to others. Judging by the way we are wrecking the planet, it comes much too late in life to way too many people.

One day you wake up and feel that you’ve reached as big, tall, meaningful and beautiful as you’re ever going to be. It’s a terrible morning. It seems like life is all downhill from there.
Sound familiar? It’s like the best part of your life is behind you. And it’s the awful truth (if all you care about is size, importance, relevance or attention). But guess what: none of that matters. When you reach this point, you should be ready for round number two!

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You’re now ready to live life to the fullest: You can stop pursuing size to open yourself to the enormity of depth. When you let go of scale, and all the associated competition and expectation – the sheer effort of it all! – You descend to a lower angle of perspective. Your perception changes forever as you see the world, yourself and everyone else in a new light – profound meaning, connection and transcendence.

When you reach these new, darker (yet more profound) levels of yourself, it will take a while for your eyes to adjust to the scarcity of “superficial” light. Slowly but surely you’ll become less in need of it. You’ll stop whining to everybody about being “the best football player in the history of football,” (to be read in a childish, bewildered, jokingly ironic tone of voice) like Ronaldo did recently. You stop tweeting compulsively from dawn to dusk in a frantic desire to conquer and possess the world’s center of attention; like someone we all know.

The day you finally become your deepest self, size becomes irrelevant. Curiosity and wonder abduct you regularly. You choose only what makes you deeper as a leader, a person, and human being. You become amused by the dumb things people tweet; naughty, playful giggles bubble up inside of you continually.

Once you commit to this depth, you bump into your inner wisdom. You know without knowing. You are at one with the universe. Your judgments and opinions about how to make it all better have dissolved. You trust life the way a newborn child trusts its mother. Your eyes shine with wonder. You walk with a spring in your step. Your heart sings with joy.

For this very reason I “help people and their organizations grow, not in size but depth.” Despite the many troubles it has brought in the past. It would have been much easier to make money by promising others size, success, wealth and the like. But then I wouldn’t have grown in depth the way I have. It’s also why my work is my pleasure and my pleasure is my work. Size is not important – I kid you not.

Have a deep new year!

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The Hero’s Journey: Finding True North When The World’s Compass is Broken

Posted on January 16, 2018 by Amber Nystrom

Imagine being at a “Jeffersonian Dinner” salon, with 13 people around a cozy table. This elegant salon design ensures everyone has a single conversation, centered for the first half of the dinner around a single question of purpose. This evening’s question is: “Where are you on your Hero’s Journey, and how may we help you in your next great leap?”

Some in the salon are deeply practiced in the Hero’s Journey; others are hearing this expression for the first time. The host asks us all to engage with a “beginners mind,” open to wonder, awe and all possibility. She also invites us to step into our own courageous vulnerability – where we marshal courage to simultaneously allow the vulnerability of stepping into the unknown of exploring our next Call to Great Adventure. She quotes Joseph Campbell, Maya Angelou and Paulo Coehlo, and then pulls out a one-liner from a Brené Brown TED talk reminding us, “If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”

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We decide to give it a go. Our host then shares the “why” behind the salon, and an initiation into our evening’s journey: “We as humanity stand at a precipice that may be our most beautiful, and is certainly our most dangerous. The choices at this crossroads will determine history. The path we choose now, individually and collectively will be remembered by generations to come; and will incite our daughters, grandsons and great grandchildren to thank or curse us based on the courage and rightness of our actions in this lifetime, and in the next pivotal decade. Many of the stabilities and prior mileposts in our communities and cities, and in our nations and our world are disintegrating; many are being actively disrupted – for reason, and will soon vanish entirely.

Your sacred space is where you can find yourself over and over again. – Joseph Campbell

What is the role of the Hero’s Journey at the crossroads that you and our world must face? It serves as a living, internal map for those among us who answer the call to serve something greater than ourselves. The Journey is of overcoming our fears and self-doubt in order to bring our service and unique gifts to the world. We are faced with our own internal demons and are provided gifts and mentors along the way. When we are in alignment with the path that is ours alone to walk, serendipities increase, and doorways open. “Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it,” says Goethe.

The Hero’s Journey is not a prescription. It’s a universal human frame that has existed throughout all time. It enables us to see and experience the immutable truth that only through our own transformation will we re-find our own True North and bring change and healing to a broken world.

In its simplified form, there are three major stages to the Hero’s Journey. The Call to Great Adventure is where the universally represented Hero, Heroine – ie, the human, is living their ordinary life and something happens to knock them off their path: a stranger enters, a major challenge or tragedy befalls, or a beautiful opportunity emerges that invites, or even forces a change in life direction.

The Call, once received – does not go away, even if we resist (vigorously!). For Star Wars fans, think about Luke and Rey being asked to step up to their Jedi heritage; and their burned down villages after multiple, humble refusals of the Call.

Our host pauses, with a touch of a mischievous smile to add: “We can resist all we like, but the Universe, and if we are so lucky to understand it, our true Jedi Calling – are not forces to be denied.”

Amber Nystrom’s mom recalls that Amber hosted her first salon at age three in the chicken coop, with a cat, stuffed animal frog, and the chickens as those she sought to unite in common action. She is a Master Teacher of the Hero’s Journey, working with select global leaders to realize and fulfill their purpose. From January, 2018 you can download her comprehensive Heroes Journey Guidebook: HeroesJourneyGuide.com. The guide interconnects support for the individual and collective “Heroes” Journey that we as humanity now must embrace. To see her creative work with women, impact and the United Nations SDGs visit: www.RalphReutimann.com

She continues in her initiation into what we are increasingly seeing may be a salon that is itself a Call to (our next) Great Adventure: “Stage two is Crossing the Threshold, or Entering the Abyss, where “enemies” (our own shadows) and mentors arrive to challenge, and help us on our journey. This stage is often called the Journey of the Dark Night of the Soul, as it can be a harrowing experience to face our own demons, self-doubts and feelings of unworthiness that when we are honest, we all harbor. Through both courage and vulnerability we rise to not only face our fears, but embrace our dragons.

You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. – Joseph Campbell

At last we cross the threshold, we find our bliss, which is our unique purpose; the universal holy grail. To complete this third and final stage of Coming Home, we must then put our gift into action to transform ourselves and the lives of those around us, whether our family, community – or a galaxy, not too far away. Our host ends our salon introduction, with a quotation from the “Power of Myth,” by Hero’s Journey god-father, Joseph Campbell: “‘And where we had thought to slay one another, we shall slay ourselves. Where we had thought to travel outward, we will come to the center of our own existence. And where we had thought to be alone, we will be with all the world.’”

Author’s Post-Script

As the dinner waned, we found ourselves asking questions with a fresh infusion of collective light. What are the aspects of my life of which I am most proud? What are the moments, decisions and actions I feel reflect the best of who I really am, personally and professionally? When I recall my greatest joys and curiosities as a child, what do I see? Am I choosing a path where I feel that when my time on Earth is done my decisions and life have brought me peace? “It is my hope,” our host added to cap the several hour salon, “that this evening we together have recognized where we thought we had been alone, now we are all with each other.”