We often negotiate in our personal and professional life. We negotiate with our children about their curfew time and with members of the family about household chores.

We negotiate about rent and when we buy or sell a car or a house. The work environment frequently involves negotiations between employers and employees about important issues, such as promotions, benefits, and pay raises, as well as between coworkers and outside parties, such as customers, potential partners, and mergers. In any negotiation, it’s essential to use specific tools to tip the scale in our favor. But most people are not aware of how expressing certain emotions can influence negotiations.

Negotiation outcomes are influenced not only by the content discussed but also by the emotions expressed during the negotiations. The question is whether we should display positive or negative emotions. Studies show that people who expressed positive emotions gained more in the negotiations than those who expressed negative or neutral emotions. So, here’s my advice: when you want people to accept your terms, try to be friendly, smile, and talk in a pleasant tone.

However, sometimes people can get genuinely angry during negotiations—for example, if the other party makes annoying remarks, refuses to accept what you believe is a very reasonable offer, or states an outrageous demand. What should you do in these situations? Should you express your anger or try to continue displaying positive emotions?

The answer is: it depends. Anger can arouse anger in the other party, which is not good for the negotiations, and it can also incite fear, which may lead to concessions.

What are the determining factors? Here are four factors you need to keep in mind:

1. Power

A crucial element is power. If you desperately need the job or the sale, you are not in the position of power, and anger from the other party may lead you to make concessions. Your anger will probably lead to the other party getting angry as well. If, on the other hand, you have other offers and you feel powerful, then anger from your negotiating partner will lead to anger on your part, and you will not agree to the offer. In general, if you feel powerful, expressing anger will often lead to gaining concessions. If the other party is more powerful, expressing anger will elicit more anger, since powerful negotiators are immune to expressions of anger and will not make more concessions. On the contrary, they might even be tougher in the negotiations.

Takeaway: If you are in a more powerful position, and the other person makes you angry, do not hesitate to show it. If you are not in the position of power, swallow your anger, and carry on if you want to reach a reasonable agreement.

2. Staying Objective 

Another essential factor to keep in mind: if you are angry and want to express it, direct it towards the offer rather than the person. Studies show that sharing your outrage at the offer will increase the chance of agreement from the other party. On the other hand, making your anger personal will only alienate the person with whom you’re negotiating.

3. Keeping it Real 

It’s also important not to fake anger. This is counterproductive. When you fake anger, the other party will often realize that it is not genuine. As a result, they will not trust you and will not agree to your offer. Studies also show that mild or moderate anger brings better results than extreme anger.

To sum up, expressing genuine anger can be advantageous, but only in certain situations and in a position of power. However, remember not to raise your voice, not go to extremes, and express your anger towards the offer rather than the person.

4. Be Aware of Gender Differences 

Unfortunately, even today, people often expect men and women to behave differently. A woman who expresses anger is judged more harshly than a man who is doing the same. In studies, a woman interviewee who expressed anger was rated lower than a woman who did not express anger, while expressing anger did not influence the rating of a male interviewee. Other studies show that when participants saw a female attorney expressing anger in her closing arguments, they reacted to her less favorably than the female attorney who did not express anger. In contrast, they reacted more favorably to the male attorney, who
expressed anger.

Men have an advantage over women in negotiations. Women candidates who initiated negotiations about compensation were judged more harshly than men with the same resume who also began negotiations. These findings are disturbing, but on the bright side, such gender differences and judgments decrease from year to year. I certainly hope they will eventually disappear.

One of the environmental factors that influence our behavior and our performance is orderliness. Most of us agree that it is more pleasant to work in an organized, neat room. An organized workspace also saves time since it is easier to find things. But what you may not know is that orderliness is also related to our self-regulation and self-control.

Studies have found that sitting in a disorganized room increases the tendency to yield to temptation. People who sat in a disorderly room were more impulsive and were willing to spend more money on various items, some of them quite expensive, such as a high-end speaker or a ski vacation. Other studies show that compared to those who sat in a disorganized room, people who sat in an organized room made healthier food choices, such as an apple, rather than the less healthy, but probably more tempting, chocolate cake. People who sat in a neat room were found to donate considerably more than those who sat in an untidy room. In other words, they were more willing to do the right thing.

A disorganized room also influences our performance at work, in both negative and positive ways. People who sat in a disorganized room performed worse on a task that demanded attention. However, disorder is not always a disadvantage. An interesting study found that disorder inspired unconventional and creative behavior. It seems that when you sit in a disorganized room, your thoughts wander; you don’t think only of the obvious conventions. This will decrease your performance on analytical and detailed tasks that require focus but might increase the possibility that you will think of a new, creative idea.

Another factor that influences self-regulation is the intensity of light. Studies show that people yield more often to temptations in a dim room.

Strategies that Can Help Convince Customers:

Beyond your performance on independent tasks, you might be surprised to learn how order and disorder impact your success with customers. There are several methods to help you convince a customer to buy your product. Various websites and consultants give you advice such as to be natural, to be nice to the client, to describe the product in a positive way, and many more. I want to focus on the lesser-known but effective techniques to convince customers: 

Disorder Inspires Splurging

Studies found that a disorganized environment and a relatively dim room might decrease our self-control and lead us more often to yield to temptation. So, when you want a customer to yield to temptation, and spend more money on something tempting but expensive, try to do it in a more dimly lit room. If possible, try to do it in a relatively disorganized room, as well.

Order Encourages Sensible Purchases

On the other hand, sometimes you want the customer to buy the more practical and efficient product, or you want the customer to do the right thing and help others — for example, buy directly from farmers who suffered an economic crisis from the pandemic situation, or buy from companies that are now in financial difficulties. If this is the case, turn on the light and organize the shelves. Studies found that people behaved more morally in a well-lit room and adhered to social conventions in a well-organized room. 

Turn Up the Temperature

The temperature also plays a vital role in customers’ buying decisions. A warmer temperature increases the need to belong, connect, and be agreeable. Studies found that people in a warmer room were more willing to conform to others’ opinions, as opposed to people in a colder room. Warmer temperatures also increase the value people assign to various products. In one experiment, participants sat in two rooms, one was a bit cold 64⁰F), and one was a bit warm (79⁰F). They were presented with photos of familiar products, such as a cup of coffee and body wash, and asked how much they were willing to pay for each. Those who sat in a warmer room were willing to pay more than those who sat in the colder room. In other words, a moderately warmer temperature may lead to more purchases.

The Art of Mimicry

The way a salesperson behaves — with a smile, patience, and courtesy can positively influence buying decisions. But there is a much subtler technique that can help: mimicking the nonverbal and verbal behavior of the customer. Mimicking can take the form of mirroring — for example, by making the same gestures, such as touching your hair or face. The salesperson can also repeat a particular word or a sentence that the customer said. Studies conducted both in the laboratories and in actual stores found that people who were mimicked by the salesperson bought more often the product offered to them. However, this mimicry should be subtle and definitely not exaggerated.

The Power of a Clean, Crisp White Shirt

A salesperson should always wear clean and tidy clothes. Not only is it more delightful to interact with a tidy person, but people unconsciously associate dirt with immorality; there is more of a tendency to believe a person who is neat and whose clothes are ironed is moral. I also recommend including a white item in your clothing, since white is also associated with morality and positive characteristics.

Practice Proper Email Etiquette 

Be careful with the emails you send to customers. Sometimes, ambiguous messages can be misinterpreted, while the sender remains unaware. For example people don’t always distinguish between funny and sarcastic email messages and might interpret something meant to be amusing in the wrong way. Make sure to read your emails carefully before sending them, and that the emotion or the humor you want to convey is evident. If you don’t get an answer or get an answer you did not expect, try to find out if your email was misinterpreted.