“You have to be honest and authentic and not hide. I think the leader today has to demonstrate both transparency and vulnerability, and with that comes truthfulness and humility.” — Howard Schultz  

Although this is changing, there are still leaders today who are afraid to let their guard down, share their feelings and admit that they don’t have all the answers. The pace of change is accelerating so quickly that one person at the top can’t have all the answers. Leaders need to rely upon the people around them for knowledge, answers to difficult problems, and support. The only way to survive and thrive in today’s workforce is to have all hands on deck. Old myths, misconceptions, and fears die hard. One of those myths is that vulnerability is a sign of weakness and that a leader who shows vulnerability will lose the respect of his colleagues.  Nothing could be further from the truth as it has been shown that leaders who can be vulnerable create healthier, more effective workplaces. 

“Vulnerability is the best measure of courage.” — Brené Brown 

Being vulnerable and showing oneself to others is actually a sign of courage and self-confidence in a leader. This doesn’t mean that they just let it all hang out, spilling out their emotions whenever they feel like it. Successful leaders know when the time and place are right to show their real and authentic selves. 

Here are seven reasons that vulnerability is an attribute in leaders: 

1. Decreases Tension and Stress at Work

Have you ever worked somewhere with an elephant in the room, and nobody was talking about it? Avoiding and tiptoeing around secrets at work can be very stressful. Everyone’s blood pressure rises trying to figure out ways of avoiding uncomfortable topics when they come up. Stress could be decreased considerably by acknowledging uncomfortable topics and allowing people to talk about them. If everyone sees that their leaders can bring up unpopular areas for discussion, they will feel freer and less stressed to talk about them as well.  

2. Increases Flow of Ideas, Creativity, and Innovation

By acknowledging that they don’t have all the answers, leaders give freedom for all staff to have input and have their feedback and ideas considered. By admitting their mistakes, managers give their staff more room to contribute their feedback and ideas to the organization. Leaders who acknowledge they made poor decisions and can still forgive themselves, through their example, let those under them know that it is okay to take risks and try something new and untried. This leads to more ideas coming forth at all levels, creating a more dynamic, competitive organization.  

3. Better Communication Flow

A leader of an organization sets the tone for what is acceptable and not acceptable to talk about. If able to be open and share information honestly and authentically, a leader sends a strong message that this is not only acceptable throughout the organization but it is the norm. Team members will feel that it is okay to open up and share. This keeps the communication channels flowing more smoothly.  A great idea to start a meeting is a brief “check-in” around the table with each person.  This will give insight into where and how each individual is coping in their real world and an understanding of where they are coming from.  Empathy leads to understanding and imparts a healthy communication flow. 

4. Problems Identified Earlier

Many times people are afraid to bring bad news and problems to their leaders as they are afraid that the information will not be well received. By the time the leaders find out what is really going on, a great deal of damage could have been done, making the situation more difficult to resolve than if they had found out earlier. Staff who witness their leaders being vulnerable and admitting their mistakes are more likely to come forward as they are less likely to feel retribution for being the bearer of bad news.  

5. Better Teamwork and Cooperation

Workplaces with closed and aloof leaders lends people to look for ways to get ahead by currying favour with and trying to impress their leaders. There is a greater occurrence of backstabbing and not sharing information amongst staff as they see people who have gained positions of authority acting in that way. They are constantly trying to guess and determine what those above them want and spend time and energy trying to determine what they need to do to get the approval of those above them and win a promotion. This energy could be spent more productively working together for the overall good of the organization.  

6. Creates a Fun Workplace

A workplace with a lot of secrets is not a healthy or fun place to work. Always being on guard and having to be careful what we share and with whom can dampen down the spirit and create a workplace that people dread coming to every day. A leader who is open, vulnerable, and authentic raises the mood of the work environment and creates a healthy, vibrant atmosphere that everyone looks forward to being part of. 

7. Emotional Connections Leads to Less Turnover

A great deal of workplace research points out that being emotionally connected to a workplace is often a deciding factor on whether or not people will stay or look elsewhere.  An open, honest and authentic leadership makes it much more likely that staff at all levels will feel a connection to the organization at an emotional level when they feel connected with their leaders. They are less likely to jump ship, even for more money or benefits, when they feel their leaders have their best interests at heart.

“If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.” — Mark Twain

There is, perhaps, nothing that harms an organization more than a lack of trust in those leading it. Yet trust seems to be a very fickle idea, challenging to develop and maintain, yet so easy to destroy. Developing a culture of trust in organizations is a difficult, painstaking journey, but it can be done if the will is there. Trust must begin from the top to be developed throughout an organization. If top management is not trusted, it gives the perception that it is everyone for themselves and opens up rationale for building a culture of mistrust.

Here are seven essentials for leaders to develop trust:

1. Confident in their own abilities.

A leader who is not confident in themselves or was promoted on reasons other than merit will always be looking over their shoulders, always fearing they will be found out or someone better will be looking to take their job. Such a leader will have difficulty trusting those under them and will not inspire trust amongst their staff. Confident leaders are secure in their own skin and not worried about how they will appear to others. This will allow them to make the right decisions without worrying what others will think of them.

2. Always tell the truth.

Leaders who are trusted tell the truth even when it is easier and more convenient to lie or leave out embarrassing facts. They also come clean and “tell all” in situations where there is little or no chance that the truth will be discovered. I remember receiving an email from someone at a college apologizing for referring to my book without my permission. Since there was no chance that I would have ever discovered this, this person’s actions spoke volumes about his honesty and integrity. There is perhaps no better way for a leader to develop trust than to tell the truth, especially when that truth would not likely have been discovered.

3. Do the right thing.

One of the easiest ways for a leader to lose trust is to do what is convenient and beneficial for them rather than what is right. This sets up a culture where staff feel justified to primarily look out for themselves rather than doing what is most beneficial for the organization. Doing the right thing usually means doing the most difficult thing, even if it means taking a personal risk. Leaders who do this are held up as examples of integrity for others to follow. If the leader has made a mistake, coming clean and owning up to the mistake will earn the respect and trust of those under them. This has been shown to be the case with great political leaders such as John F. Kennedy when he demonstrated vulnerability by admitting they have made mistakes.

4. Consistent with their message to their superiors and their staff.

A sure way to develop a culture of mistrust is for managers to be found saying one thing to those in positions above them and another way to their staff. This makes staff feel like they are being used to make their manager look good and win them a promotion. This is not a good way to build motivation and trust in the workplace. Trust develops when staff are confident their management will have a consistent message regardless of the audience. Leaders who have a consistent message to their superiors and staff will be perceived to be working for the overall good of the organization rather than for their own personal advancement.

5. Share accurate information in a timely manner.

In the absence of accurate and timely information, rumors spread. Often the rumors paint a worse picture of the situation than would exist if the truth were told. Withholding information gives staff the message they are not to be trusted to know the truth and therefore sets up a culture of suspicion and mistrust that rumors will only feed and fuel. Weak leaders see information as power and will attempt to withhold information as a means of maintaining control over their reports. Strong leaders look for ways to empower those under them, and sharing information quickly is one way that they can achieve this.

6. Communicate vision, values and abide by them.

A sure way to lose trust in an organization is for management to be seen as having one set of rules for themselves and another for their staff. If there is a value statement that management has developed for the organization, they need to ensure they follow those values themselves before expecting their staff will follow them. If not, staff will see the values as a way to manipulate and control them rather than a set of values that would guide and motivate everyone in the organization to strive towards a shared goal.

7. Treat everyone fairly and give credit where due.

One of the most common complaints in the workplace is favoritism and unfair treatment. Treating everyone fairly, consistently and give credit to those who deserve it is one of the most difficult things for leaders to do. We all have our own biases, and certain people appeal to us more than others. One of the challenges of leadership is to see beyond personal preferences and clearly see the value that each person brings to the organization.

“Real empathy is sometimes not insisting that it is okay but acknowledging that it is not.” — Sheryl Sandberg

According to recent studies carried out by the Development Dimensions International, Empathy is the biggest single leadership skill needed today.

In a global survey, DDI discovered that the top ten performing businesses in the 160 studies the “Global Empathy Index” generated 50% more net income than the bottom ten performers. According to Richard S. Wellins, Ph.D., Senior Vice President of DDI, “Being able to listen and respond with empathy is overwhelmingly the one interaction skill that outshines all other skills.” 

Other research has backed up DDI findings. Dianne Crampton at Gonzaga University found that “Empathy is a universal team value that promotes high commitment and cooperation in the workplace. Becoming aware of the importance of their leaders developing empathy, companies are responding with sending their leaders to empathy training.”  According to the Wall Street Journal, 20% of employers now offer empathy training, which is up substantially from ten years prior. 
 
Here are five Reasons that Empathy is becoming the number one leadership skill:

1. Increased Employee Retention

One of the struggles that every organization faces is retaining talented staff. One of the most commonly cited reasons for people leaving an organization is a lack of trust and appreciation from those they report to. Empathy increases trust, a sense that staff is valued and cared about.   Whether in our personal relationships or part of an organization, we will be more likely to stay when we feel heard, appreciated, and cared about.  Developing and use of more Empathy by leaders goes a long way towards affecting people to stay.

2. Increase in Staff Engagement

Have you ever noticed that when someone close to you notices how you feel or tells you how much they appreciate something you have done for them?  You automatically have the urge to do more for them. In terms of employee engagement, it is known that when leadership demonstrates to employees that they care, the reciprocity reaction kicks in, and they want to put in more effort.  Somehow many organizations miss this basic yet very important point when it comes to leadership behaviors.  Successful organizations are aware of this, and their leaders continuously look for ways to notice, compliment, and look for ways to show their appreciation to their staff.
 

3. Increased Collaboration Between Team Members

Employees who feel valued and appreciated want to do more in their work, and they want to do more for their fellow employees.  When Empathy is demonstrated at the top, it is passed down throughout the organization, resulting in increased teamwork, a decrease in staff conflict, and a decrease in workplace disruption.  This collaboration will result in better-coordinated work effort and increased productivity.

4. Increase in Job Satisfaction and Decrease in Absenteeism

Staff who feel witnessed, heard, and appreciated feel more satisfied with their work and miss fewer days on the job.  As the level of job satisfaction decreases, so does the level of absenteeism. Staff who feel less committed to the organization will feel less motivated to come to work. Their rationale is that since nobody cares, so why should they.  Increased absenteeism decreases morale as coworkers who have to pick up the slack become resentful. This can create a downward spiral in terms of employee morale and absenteeism rates. 

5. Increase in Bringing Up New Ideas and Creativity

People who perceive they are part of an organization and feel heard and appreciated tend to risk more and look for ways to add increased value to the organization. They are more likely to put time and energies coming up with new ideas, processes, and methods to improve their work and move the organization forward. Their commitment to the organization makes them feel that their success and that of the organization are interrelated, boosting their desire to find new, better, and more efficient ways of working.

Putting it All Together

Increased Empathy of management in any organization results in many benefits to the well-being, commitment, and desire for staff to give their best.  This is a win-win situation for all concerned as the outcome is an increase in efficiency, productivity, and success of an organization.  As rising numbers of studies come to this conclusion, businesses will increasingly realize that greater leader empathy is not some feel good, soft skill, but rather an essential tool that their leaders will need to keep their organization competitive and successful.

When we think of some great leaders, humility may not come to the top of how we would describe them. The bigger-than-life leaders such as Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, or Bill Gates would likely be described as visionary, bold, and charismatic. Yet, if we look more closely, we find leaders like Richard Branson, who is humble and laid back. A survey of computer product firms published in the Journal of Management found that humble leaders resulted in higher-performing teams, better collaboration, and flexibility.

Other research has found that humble leaders are better listeners, more flexible, and inspire greater teamwork. Millennials make up over a third of the U.S. labor force and are changing the way we view leadership. The authoritarian leadership style is out, as is the flashy, ego-driven, self-serving, attention-seeking type. What is vogue is the servant type of leader, humble, collaborative, and driven by the well-being of the staff and the organization in service of the greater good. As millennials are not afraid to leave jobs when they are not feeling fulfilled and appreciated, organizations are paying more attention to the type of leadership they thrive in.  

Here are seven reasons that humble leaders are increasingly sought after. 

1. Do not abuse their authority. 

We have all heard horror stories of power-hungry, status-seeking leaders and their damage to those under them and ultimately to the organization. Humble leaders see themselves more as coaches and mentors, always looking for ways to encourage others and bring out the best in them. Instead of keeping authority and control, they look for ways to delegate and allow others to take on and expand their leadership potential.   

2. Constantly look to promote others. 

Humble leaders understand the need for others to succeed and are constantly looking for ways to develop and expand leadership opportunities of those that work for them. They promote based on skill, talent, hard work, and talent. Unlike self-serving leaders, they are not likely to be impressed by those who look to get ahead simply by ingratiating
themselves to those in positions of authority. Not having big egos that need to be stroked, they are less likely to be taken in by flattery and insincere attempts to get on their good side.  Their humility allows them to focus on the big picture and see how the organization’s overall success will be improved by developing authentic, deserving leaders.  

3. Model and support collaboration. 

Rather than having people competing with one another, humble leaders encourage and reward them for collaborating. This increases teamwork capabilities and results in increased trust among team members.  Heightened competition amongst team members results in mistrust, with time and energy spent on vying for a position rather than focusing on the team’s work. When collaboration becomes the norm, team members feel more relaxed and can bring their full abilities and skills to the workplace. 

4. Model integrity and trust. 

Humble leaders do not make promises that they do not keep or try to build up their reputations by shows of aggrandizement and pretense. With them, what you see is what you get. Instead of flashy words and talk, they back up what they say with action. Team and community-oriented, they are always looking for ways to help and don’t find any level of work in their organization to be beneath them. To learn more about the organization, they might be found pitching in to help in all situations that may require immediate attention. This kind of engagement earns them respect and trust from those that work under them. 

5. Supportive of their staff. 

Humble leaders look for opportunities to catch their staff doing something well and let them know at every opportunity. They will acknowledge when something went wrong but focus on solutions and learning opportunities rather than blame and punishment. Being humble does not mean they are pushovers. They can set firm boundaries and are open about what they look for in others. Those that work for a humble leader will know what is expected of them and not have to be worried about criticism, being called out in public, or humiliated in front of their coworkers. In my book, The Other Kind of Smart, I talk about the importance of appreciation and admitting mistakes. They know that even if they have made a mistake, they will be listened to, understood, and given the opportunity to make changes.  

6. Ready and able to admit their mistakes and shortcomings.

Humble leaders do not need to feel they have to be the smartest person in the room. They are secure enough in themselves that they do not feel threatened when others know more than they do. When they make mistakes, they openly admit to them, rather than trying to hide or cover them up. If someone comes up with a better idea than they have, they don’t feel it is beneath them to accept it. They don’t see vulnerability as a weakness; instead, they see it as a way of giving those that report to them permission to be so. This creates a less stressed, open, and emotionally healthy workplace for everyone, allowing everyone to be themselves and focus on their work. 

7. Are first to take responsibility and last to take credit. 

Humble leaders demonstrate that the buck stops with them and take responsibility when things don’t work out. On the other hand, they will graciously give credit to others when things go well. They have a team-first mindset, always looking for ways to support and get the most from their teams. When their teams do well, they seldom take credit themselves, realizing the importance of praise, appreciation, and acknowledgment to motivate their people to give their best.

Since the onset of COVID 19, our workplaces have seen massive disruption.

One of these was the number of people working from home. Even though that number had been steadily rising over the years, COVID forced an unprecedented number of employees to work from home. For some, this was a welcome change, while for others, it forced them into a situation they were not prepared for and would have difficulty adjusting to mentally and emotionally. One of the biggest challenges faced by remote employees is remaining engaged with their organizations and feeling that their employer understands what they are going through. A 2019 survey found that 82% of staff would think about leaving their organization for a more empathic organization. Empathy is a major part of emotional intelligence.  78% of those surveyed stated they would work longer hours if they knew their employer cared about them.

In my book, The Other Kind of Smart, I talk about the importance of empathy. When face-to-face interactions have decreased due to remote work, the importance of emotional intelligence and feeling connected has become increasingly important. Letting employees know they are thought of and cared for is more difficult when they work remotely, making it increasingly important that leaders make an effort to do so.  

Here are five things emotionally intelligent leaders can do to make their remote employees want to stay:

1. Do not assume everything is okay if you don’t get feedback.

Having remote employees makes it more difficult to spot someone who is struggling mentally and emotionally. The outward signs of stress could be a decrease in caring about things such as physical appearance, and stress, body language, and other signs of stress can easily be hidden when an employee is not physically present. Employees who are struggling may be hesitant to reach out to their supervisors or others for fear of being needy, dependent, or unable to do the work they were hired to do. To overcome the handicap of not seeing their people in person, emotionally intelligent leaders need to make the extra effort to be there for them when needed.

2. Screen time is the second-best option from face-to-face contact.

While screen time does not take the place of in-person interaction, it beats email and phone for communication. At least we can see the other person’s face, giving us some feeling of being connected. Together with using their voices, emotionally intelligent leaders can demonstrate that they care by only limiting email use to information sharing but using screen time for any in-depth discussions.  

3. Increase personal contact.

Leaders need to regularly check in on their employees, preferably via zoom or another screen platform. This needs to be done so that their people don’t suspect that the purpose is to monitor their work or an attempt to micromanage. Emotionally intelligent managers can build trust with their staff by being open, transparent, and sharing their own struggles. Listening also connects us. According to Moshe Cohen, author of Collywobbles: How to Negotiate When Negotiating Makes You Nervous, by asking open-ended questions and listening without interruption, emotionally intelligent managers demonstrate respect for their people while also uncovering their concerns and supporting their needs.

4. Look for opportunities to set up supportive networks for staff.

Not all people who work remotely have the same struggles. Some will have to look after children who are not going to school due to COVID. Others may be caregivers, looking after elderly parents at home. Leaders or human resource people could set up networking meetings to connect with and support staff with specific issues. Employee assistance programs could take the lead on setting this up and facilitating such groups. If unable to set up internal networks, leaders should investigate and develop a list of proven external organizations that provide support for various problems their staff may be facing. These could be shared with staff, and employees encouraged to use them and share their own experiences with them if they used them.  

5. Set up virtual celebrations to celebrate successes and special events.

While personal gatherings and going out for a drink after work has fallen by the wayside, there is no reason not to have some fun virtually. Special themed events such as wear your ugliest sweater or some other article of clothing could still be fun. Prizes could be offered to the winner that everyone votes on. The most creative drink concoction that everyone would consume could be interesting. Providing their staff with memorabilia with the company name or logos on them, such as coffee mugs or articles of clothing to be worn during meetings, would help create a feeling of being part of the group while working virtually. Emotionally intelligent leaders could ask for ideas from the group, have them voted on, and have prizes for the most popular ones. Our imagination is the only limit to the things we can do in this area.  

Even if you are quite independent and would not currently require any support that the organization you worked for provided for its people, it would be a comfort to work for a company that cares about its people. Just knowing that would be a major factor in deciding whether to stay and for how long.