20 Things We Wish We Had Known 20 Years Ago

These words of wisdom – based on our successes, failures, experiences, yearnings and hopes – come from women alumnae of Brown University. With hope that they inspire you to take action as you build your life and career, we share them with you today…

1. Show, don’t tell
2. Know what you can control, and what you can’t
3. Put more stuff on your calendar than you can possibly do… then show up!
4. Use your skills and interest for good… volunteer
5. The more you say it, you become it
6. You can have it all, do it all, be it all – but not all three at once
7. Being good with people does not mean you are necessarily a good manager
8. It’s good to feel a little out of your depth; that means you are learning something
9. Talk to anyone; ask people to talk to you
10. Say thank-you
11. Don’t be afraid of men (it helps you understand and learn from them)
12. Take a 6 month “independent study” time off from your career
13. Be gentle with yourself
14. Ask for help (men do)
15. Don’t ever say you can’t do that (men don’t)
16. Say “yes” to more hard things you like and “no” to those things that you don’t
17. Do something that motivates you… or you’ll go crazy
18. If you believe it can be that awesome, it can be that awesome
19. Don’t be surprised by your successes
20. There’s never a good time to have children… just do it!

I’m indebted to Barbara Laskey Weinreich for regularly hosting this gathering of women and to Karen Berlin Ishii for compiling this wisdom.

About the Author

Deb Mills-Scofield