“It is much harder to hope than to remember,” is a thought I have to remind myself of as often as possible. While navigating my daily life, it is apparent to me that I have a tendency to dwell on my past experiences.

I love thinking about decisive moments in my life, such as graduation ceremonies, a job well done, corresponding promotions, winning a championship game, the birth of my children, and the day I reacquainted with the true love of my life.

We all have these types of beautiful memories. What about the not so wonderful, which include bad decisions that hinder us?

If I let myself dwell on these memories, I find myself doubting my next move, second-guessing myself, and sometimes abandoning my ambitions altogether. We all have our self-doubt moments, so how do we put them “in their place,” so to speak?

When left to our own devices, our doubting self and lingering questions, can hinder us and sometimes blind us if we allow it. Success is rarely guaranteed, but growth will always be pertinent.

When we make a conscious decision to grow, we often make hard decisions that puts us in an uncomfortable place. This is challenging, yet rewarding, regardless of whether we achieve our desired outcomes or not. We learn from our mistakes in the process. From my experience, positivity becomes evident if we look at it this way. 

As we strive to achieve our goals, roadblocks and obstacles will always show up. Some will be easily overcome, while others may take a significant amount of effort and many attempts to achieve the desired outcome. A conscious decision to push forward and refuse to give up is the difference between getting a win or accepting defeat.

The situation is not always so black and white. Sometimes we have clearly outlined  win and loss columns, but the grey areas in between are our growing points. These are undefined places that are somewhat intangible. 

The bottom line is never to consider expended energy as wasted, but as energy well spent. Keep your hopes up. Keep your eyes on the prize and your goals. You will achieve and be successful if you are able to recognize your mistakes without dwelling on them. Instead, cultivate an ability to change because of them. Use your tact and creativity to be a problem solver. Give yourselves the “attaboy” or “attagirl,” relish in your success, learn from our mistakes no matter how large or minuscule, then keep it moving in the right direction.

Live as a “Genshai Warrior” – Never treat another in a manner which makes them feel small, including yourself. This is when we step into excellence and own our success. After all, we cannot give away what we do not have, and we all have this excellence ready and waiting inside each of us. Ready to be shared. Be blessed and have a tremendous day!

Robert W. Payne will release his book “Chaos Agent” (working title) in early 2019. He grew up mostly in Bolingbrook, Illinois (south of Chicago) and is an agent of change based on his life experiences. He is a member of the Genshai team – a word meaning, “Never treat another person in a manner which makes them feel small, including yourself.”